Busy Living…

I realized I havent been on my blog for almost a month!! I say sorry to my dear readers that look forward to what I have to say. Do you know what the problem is? There is only so much that can be said about Brugada, only so much I can talk about. Just the same as the doctors are still learning and dont know much, we as the patients dont know much. All I really need to know is I have it, Im protected with a defibrillator, I know which children have it and a plan is in action to monitor them every 6 months. From there what can I do? Not much but live my life. Its been 6 months since my defibrillator has been put in. Im at a point now where I dont think about it much. Ive become accustomed to it. I dont stare at it all day in the mirror, google everything I can about Brugada or talk about it non stop. I dont fear death. Is it coming? Probably but Ive come to respect that this little machine in my chest will take care of that. So what else can I do? LIVE MY LIFE! Brugada is extremely scary because it takes you without notice. It happened to my father. But thats not going to happen to me. I feel blessed. Yes, I said BLESSED.Lucky enough to find out I have Brugada AND receive treatment. This means I will live, I will watch my family grow, I will have time with everyone.I cant sit and wait for a shock though. I cant wait on edge for V Fib. You have to learn to ignore it. Take the precautions your doctor said but in the long run ignore it. If brugada wants to steal me it will. But my ICD will change that fate. My life now is getting my kids off to school, waiting for autumn and the cool days and buying pumpkins. Planning Thanksgiving dinner and I cant wait for Christmas. I wake up with all the plans I used to have. I think about all the weeks and months ahead with things to do. Brugada no longer invades my thoughts. Why should it? It will be reversed in about 8 seconds from an ICD. I got an ICD to live, to be free, to not be scared. We all have to come to that point where we spread our wings and fly and accept what we have and live life normal. It takes time.It really does. But it will come. One day you will realize the whole day went by without thinking about it.Then a week went by without a thought. I’m not quite at that week or month mark yet, but I WILL get there because I WANT to get there. Dont obsess!

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